


I've Got You

by MiniMax



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: F/F, RvB Angst War, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-23
Updated: 2016-04-23
Packaged: 2018-06-03 23:59:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6632290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiniMax/pseuds/MiniMax
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Katie is dying, and all she can think is: <em>It’s about freakin’ time.</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	I've Got You

Katie is dying, and all she can think is:

_It’s about freakin’ time._

To clarify, Katie doesn’t particularly _want_ to die, but crouched down as she is, watching the blood run across the cracked tile into the drain, she can admit, however quietly, that she’s surprised it hasn’t happened sooner.

She sniffs into her knee, snorting a mouthful of water for her efforts. Which figures. She can’t even _mope_ properly, let alone _die_ properly. She’s lost track of how much time she’s spent in this position, but her back is aching, her legs are numb and the water has long since gone cold. If she concentrates _really_ hard, fuzzes out her vision, and holds her breath, she can almost ignore the groaning pain in her abdomen. Can almost pretend that the blood making pretty patterns in the ground isn’t growing thicker. Can almost pretend she might _just_ have a stomach ache, or flu, or _something._

It’s been a weird mess of months, with blow after blow landing hard against her usually infallible cheer. She has never been hard up for hope (to the general annoyance of her comrades, she _knows_ ). Something to do with her parents, she’s sure. They were all about positive thinking and working hard so  _she_ was all about it, lived and breathed for it, because they’d always been right. Before the bombs, they'd always been right.

Even after the bombs, they’d been right.

For awhile, anyway.  
In her hands, hope has always been a source of strength. She has always found it easy to keep burning, in spite of and sometimes _because_ of the way none of her friends have any. When the Captains came to them, she got to see first hand the power of hope, spreading throughout the ranks. For the first time, in maybe ever, she watched her friends pick up their guns with real belief of their own survival and return.

_It’s stupid,_ she thinks. _It’s all worthless._ A chill is settling in her bones, and it might have something to do with the fact that Captain Simmons has abandoned his squad. _Her_ squad. It might have something to do with the fact that _all_ the Captains have abandoned them, and maybe something to do with not knowing if they’re alive. It might have something to do with Torres dying today on mission, dying right in front of her, _for_ her. It might have to do with all of those things or none of those things, but Katie can’t be bothered to figure it out. 

She decides to abandon hope.

“Jensen?”

_Oh, DARN it!_

Of course. Of _course_ it was Falguni. Not only can she not mope, die, or pretend properly, she apparently can’t do any of the above without her friend _(girlfriend?)_ being dragged into the mess. Here in this locker no less, _(always this locker, why does everything happen in this locker?)_ Maybe if she doesn’t answer-

“Jensen. I know what your quiet sounds like.”

Katie sighs, stretching to turn off the water, before tucking back into her huddle. “I thought I told you to call me Katie,” she grumps into her lap.

She can feel Falguni standing outside the stall. “Yeah, I know. I haven’t forgotten. Just, you know… you ran off after the mission, and I wasn’t sure if I…” Falguni stops speaking and Katie pictures the frustration on her face.

“No, it’s fine, Falguni. Call me Katie, no matter what mood I’m in, okay?”

“I, yeah, sure, but- is that _blood?_ Are you _bleeding?!”_

The curtain is wrenched aside and Falguni is falling to her knees, and Katie thinks absurdly about how _pretty_ Falguni makes falling to her knees look. Falguni’s hands are steady as they reach out, pushing and pulling at her body, sliding along her limbs, the way they were trained to do in their first aid crash course to check for injuries. Falguni rocks back on her heels, surprise writ across her face, when her hand come away bloody from tracing up Katie’s thigh.

“Internal,” Katie blurts. “I must have sustained some kind of injury when Torres knocked me down, and- what? What’s that look?”

Falguni is studying her with an unusually focused expression.

“I don’t…how _old_ are you, Katie? Not like, whatever you told Kimball, but _really?_ ”

“Uh, sixteen? Yeah, sixteen. My birthday was a month ago.”

Falguni nods absently, wiping her hand against her thigh. Katie decides to ignore how used to blood they are. “Alright. Kinda weird that it’s so late, but I sort of remember hearing something about stress and malnutrition and we sure as fuck don’t get enough rations, and I’m totally ignoring the fact that I can feel all your ribs right now, but-”

Katie squints at her girlfriend _(yeah, girlfriend, she’s gonna go with that one, why the heck not?)._ “Falguni?”

“I-what?”

“What words are you trying to say?”

“Dying. The dying. You’re not doing it.”

Katie cringes as another wave of pain ripples through her abdomen. “I really think I am.”

“No. I’m super confident about this. You’ve just got your period. Welcome to lady-hood.”

Katie stares at her blankly. “My what?”

Falguni looks mildly panicked. “Uh, you know. Monthlies?”

Katie stares.

“Umm… Mother Nature’s grand gift? Time for babies, time for birth control? Once a month all of women kind bleed out for like a week? Seriously? Ringing any bells?”

Katie thinks hard and, “ _Oh!_  I remember! Maybe? Those assemblies where they split the girls and the guys up? My class was scheduled for one, but then..”

“The bombs dropped,” Falguni finishes with a wry smile. “Class dismissed.”

Silence settles.

“My period.”

“Yes.”

“That’s it? That’s what this pain is?”

“Yeah.”

“And all this blood is normal?”

“I promise.”

For the life of her, she doesn’t know why, but this news is somehow more devastating than the thought of her imminent death, so, without further ado, she burst into tears.

“Oh! Oh, no, Katie, _no! Please,_ don’t cry!”

In any other situation, Katie would have found the panic in Falguni’s voice over a weepy girlfriend _(yes, definitely)_ endearing, but for right now, it just made her cry harder. She had been so sure that this was it, that she was going die, that there was nothing more she could do for herself or anyone else. To her horror, the feeling crashing through her is not of relief but of acute _disappointment._

Katie doesn’t know what to do with that. It’s so _dark_ and _heavy_ and _not her_. She’s the girl made of hope, optimism, _light_ , and she doesn’t know how to hold onto such a thought, how to make sense of such a feeling, and it chokes up in her throat and spills from her mouth before she can think to stop it.

“I wish I was,” and Falguni freezes, but Katie can’t stop speaking, “I thought I was dying, and even though it hurt, and I don’t really _want_ to die, I was relieved it would be over. Oh _gosh_. I wanted to be _done_ , I wanted this war to be _done_ , I wanted to never have to wash a friend’s blood out of my hair _again_. I wanted it to be _over_.”

Falguni swallows so hard, Katie can hear it, so she also says: 

“I don’t want to die.”

The words fall between them and Katie feels it. Feels that, somehow, they are also true. Somehow, even with all that dark crashing in her chest, the dying and the not dying, they’re both real. They’re both true. She opens her mouth to explain this, but what comes out is: 

“I’m sorry I said that.”

“I- no. _Don’t_ be.”

“I don’t want you to think-”

“I don’t,” Falguni interrupts sharply. She reaches out, pulls Katie to into her arms and holds tight. Too tight, but Katie doesn’t care. “Like, I _get it_. Of course I get it. I don’t like to hear it, but I _will_ hear it. No matter how many times you feel like you need to say it, I’ll hear you out, yeah?”

“I…”

“I’ve _got you,_ Katie.”

Katie nods miserably.

“Look…” Falguni’s fingers tangle into her hair, stroking slowly against the back of her neck. A sigh, and, “I might need you to listen too. To _me_ , that is. Because, yeah, because _sometimes_ …”

Determination floods into her chest, and Katie nods again. Firmly. “Yes. _Yes._ Always.” She pulls away to cradle Falguni’s face in her palms and kisses her fiercely. “ _We’ve_ got this. We’re gonna be fine. We’re gonna be _better_ than fine. This is _not_ me hoping so. This is me _knowing_ so.”

“I… yeah,” Falguni answers hoarsely, closing her eyes. “I, ah, _yeah_. Let’s, uh, let’s get you out of here. We’ll hit up the doc’s, get you some pain killers. I’m sure one the girls has a tampon or something to hold you over till we can get you supplied.”  


“The doctor’s out on mission with Palomo and the guys, remember? High enough risk he volunteered to go along.”

“He volunteered? I’m surprised the grump actually cares enough to go with.”

Katie rolls her eyes, feeling better for what feels like the first time in months. “Why do you have such a _thing_ about him? Didn’t he stitch you back together once?”

“Yeah, not long after I first joined up. He was a total _dick_ about it though. Made up a mess of bull about ratting me out to Kimball about how old I really was. Said he could tell by the lines on my fingernails or something. Like rings on a tree. Which is total crap. Does he think I’m stupid?” She pauses and slants an uneasy glance at Katie. “That _is_ bullshit right?”

Katie grins weakly. “Yeah. I’m sure he was just trying to get you to stop running into walls like you do.”

“That’s never gonna happen,” Falguni snorts. She leans across Katie to turn the shower back on, heedless of her clothing. “Let’s get you cleaned up. I’ve got this. You.”

It’s not all good, and it’s not alright. Katie knows she’s in for a lot of long nights, turning over this new darkness. She also knows Falguni is _there_ already, has _been_ there, will probably _always_ be there. Darkness isn’t a thing she’s ever wanted, but as Falguni fusses with the soap and knocks her hands aside, Katie closes her eyes and lets it go. She closes her eyes and lets Falguni talk quietly about nothing and wash her body clean. She closes her eyes, because really, there’s no one else she’d rather face this darkness with.

**Author's Note:**

> This was a prompt fill from @goodluckdetective for the rvb angst war! And also a part from a soon-to-be Jolleyball long fic! : )


End file.
